Sacred I AM: Drinking from a Sacred River


Sacred is a word, it is language. But it is a word that points directly to the heart and mind. That which is said to be sacred, I feel it is so if it is real, if it is honest, clear, true, like a river that is safe to drink from because we come by it honestly and can trust the source. When indigenous people say land is sacred, we can trust what they say, because to be indigenous is to have an eternal and intimate relationship with the land you are indigenous to. We are indigenous when we know we are from the land, that it is inside us, and we are in it. Once we look at land like it is ‘private property’, we think it belongs to us, that we own land, that it is an object, that is madness and not indigenous, and such an idea cannot even be made sacred by any symbol.

So, ‘sacred’ it is a way of approaching an intimate part of us, maybe a delicate part, or just an internal part, so we have to really care about what is going in and out, because this will affect our organs, our emotional life, our energy, life and we are aware that all we do affects our children, and theirs. We call upon ancestors, so we can act like ancestors, who will be called upon when freshness and beauty of life is celebrated, and for how to care for it.

If we do not care, then, in the ruins of culture and coughing for life amidst the poisons, none of what we do will be remembered, or matter, so who cares. Nothing sacred here. Another oil spill, just the cost of doing business, nothing sacred.
First and foremost, it is we, the ones who can breathe the word sacred, who are sacred. Our mind, heart, thoughts, will, breath, our sexuality, our relations, our every cell is sacred, and we are completely free whichever gender we are, and one with Divine, our Creator, and we are the authority on ourselves, on sacred, and the students of nature.. But we are told not, and often don’t treat ourselves that way.
So sacredness, it also speaks of what is actually going on , not just what is being said. For me, there are ways that I can and do actually drink straight from the rivers of this land, because there are times and places where they are clean for me, and my understanding of them is clear. This even though we by and large dump profane amounts of our waste in our rivers, and then treat them chemically and systemically before they arrive in the tap, for ‘convenience’. So there is a sacredness about me and the river at that point where I am drinking the water, that allows me to do this, I have practises and I am aware, and I can tell the truth about it. So that which is sacred, it can be different, and others would never drink from the rivers of this territory, believing them to be always polluted. But just because someone believes something, it is not necessarily true. Even my skepticism, my adventurousness, my childlike nature, all are sacred.

So, if I am not coming at this in an honest way, if I am just showing off, I can get sick from those same rivers. So, there is observation of myself and what is actually going on, that allows me to do this. That is a kind of ceremony.
Among people, I observe their ceremony, whether they call it ceremony or not, to observe their awareness, their sense of sacredness. In a ceremony of mindless consumption, I may abstain, or I may have a little taste, but I won’t get lost in it. In a ceremony of truth and empowerment, or one that names the divine within me-within all, I will drink wholeheartedly. If a ceremony suggests otherness, I ignore the suggestion of separation, of superiority. Where the ceremony calls on specific ancestors or deities I relate more distantly to, I call on one’s closer to my circle, for I know they are all related. If a priest, or an article on Elephant Journal, whatever authority, uses ‘sacredness’ to make me feel less so and in need of it, so that I must rely on the author, I rebel against that. I already know I am sacred. If a ceremony calls me forth as such, I show up for it that way. If it doesn’t, I leave empty-handed.

The name of the religion doesn’t matter, church, temple, forest. The fewer doors the better, the more direct, the purer it is. My own faith commits sacrilege by closing it’s ceremonies to members only, God does not dismember! I ignore this sin, and drink from what it offers because I am a sacred beggar, I don’t refuse anything.
Humanity comes in streams and rivers, what is sacred is often a meeting by the river. A ceremony makes every drop in the river divine, by making us take steps to look at it, and sacredness helps us see how we actually are, and what we are taking in.

Bipolar Wellness

This post may become it’s own blog, this is a time where I am trying new things. So I’m trying this out.

But it may be too simple. Bipolar wellness is a lot like ordinary wellness for anyone. It is based on self-love and self-care, healthy relating and learning to dance with all the range of emotion and energy, how to fall gracefully and to get back on one’s feet. It is about learning to be true to oneself, to let the mud of self-doubt clear and learn to listen to the heart first with all the external pressures to do or be, to source love from within so as to create an authentically happy life. It is about making healthy choices and learning from mistakes, getting humbled and getting to true self-worth and healthy ego. But just like for anyone who has a health problem, like an addiction or even a physical ailment that is related to behavior, there is a recovery process that relies on universal principles that are spiritual laws. This healing process will source the beauty, creativity, brilliance and joy of the soul that is alive and awake with appreciation and love. And it will bring one face to face with the ugly parts of the self and all the feelings we are uncomfortable with. That is bipolar wellness – up and down, good and bad, high and low!! That is any human life, who dares to ask who they are and what it is for, who wants to awaken the depths and make courageous choices. But with this illness, the clinical manias and depressions, there is a breakdown in this process. There is extreme high and low, there is delusion, and there are consequences we admit we want to avoid once we regain insight and are hit with sanity. Then it is making a commitment to sanity, despite the difficulty one must then face within in the healing process. This is where we learn to truly love again I feel. With courage, there are ways to radically accept it all, to love oneself all over again, to heal and to change. That is what this is about. It is about wanting for myself healthy, happy and stable life, one that is awake and authentic and honest with myself. I am learning that my self-worth is something I get to practise and create and that is what attracts good quality of life. This also means for me, staying on lithium as a commitment to this path.

It is also means for me, that everything serious I say will be hilarious at some point, and will become bubbling, wonderful laughter because of my practise of laughter yoga. That doesn’t really detract from any of it, it is lovely and healing to laugh at it all once in a while.

For me, I am doing this for myself and for my daughter Aya, and her Mom, and my mother. I’m doing this for my whole family and community, and all my relations.

Letter on Earth Unity to Shah Karim Al Hussaini, Aga Khan

Dear Mowlana Hazar Imam, Shah Karim al Hussaini, Aga Khan,

Though I am a murid, I write to you today as a human being, more deeply as a creature of the Creation. I write on the subject of climate change – the highest priority human beings must confront at the moment aside from ongoing war, and until we achieve a stability in the climate transition and true sustainability.I want to state as well, that I believe you are playing a strong role in the world toward world peace. My sense is that world peace is necessary in this century, in order for human beings to reverse the collapse of the biosphere, the sacred web of life. The two are related. The subject of this letter more directly, is climate change. Biosphere health and world peace are what I feel conscious humans will want and need to achieve in this century, more than anything else.

As a murid, it has been a privilege to hear only truth from you in each firman I have listened to, and to be proud of each public speech you have given. In particular, you have guided us to use reason in our application of faith to our lives and to live ethically. It is the application of reason and ethics that guides me to this letter. My search for understanding and a way to apply ethics and reason in my life led me to study philosophy and nursing, but ultimately I earned my BA in Psychology and my MA in Globalization and International Development. I studied meditation in the Zen tradition, Indian classical music, and I worked for nearly 20 years now in frontline social services, in street health and with the homeless, as well as being a leader in global health education at the University of Ottawa. On March 13th of this year, I had an experience of lucid truth that gave me confidence to send this letter.  I do not know and cannot say what term to apply to it from our tradition, some type of Didar was given. It was an experience of inner oneness and true self, which reflected on the beauty of that spring day, brought for a vision of Earthly paradise for all living beings. If everyone attained this state of unity consciousness, world peace would follow easily from awareness. But one leg cannot wait for the other to walk; and it is not about me and my spiritual merit, so I must proceed like this from what I see.

My accomplishments are empty, Mawla, for I am a father now of a four year old daughter who is yet unaware of the world I have brought her into. I am writing for her sake. Unless I find a true path, I cannot leave this world as a safer and more secure place for my daughter. I already know that if she learns well the knowledge of this world, she will face heavy burdens we have left her. A child should not learn how to shoulder the burdens of her ancestors, a child should learn how her ancestors succeeded in confronting their reality, how to build upon this, a child should not learn of her ancestors ignorance but of their wisdom and enlightenment.

Mawla, the jamat has many strengths, yet I am concerned that the jamaat does not comprehend the cause and effect relationships between the globalizing lifestyle of mobility and consumption that represents the example of merit and success in this world, and climate change, deforestation, habitat destruction, pollution of air, water, and rivers, the genocide of indigenous culture and indigenous wisdom, workplace stress, loss of a nutritious diet, loss of family and social time, cruelty to animals, poverty, global instability and ongoing war.

My jamaat does not understand living in relation with the Earth and all God’s creatures. This wisdom is almost entirely lost on my Jamaat Mawla, in my experience. Mawla, my jamaat perceives the world narrowly and does not comprehend its power and responsibility, and yet in a narrow way it finds itself successful in large part because it is well-guided and cared for towards mainstream success. But the mainstream is headed off a cliff, down a waterfall, to an unknown ocean, an unknown landing. That is clear from the scientific data on the biosphere.

Mawla, education is good, careers are good, but education and careers emphasize personal accomplishment and downplay one’s wider relations. Mawla, I have considered my own reduction of annual carbon footprint to roughly the world target for sustainability to be a personal accomplishment. However it is worthless because very few people who are successful in modern society willingly adopt this path. My Canadian culture does not follow it; my Jamaat adopts my Canadian culture, and follows the consumption path. Therefore, my contribution has no effect. People are given the opportunity to recycle and make other small adjustments, and if they do it and that is good, but Mawla it has very little effect. My jamaat lives in ignorance of the impact of their lifestyle, and my jamaat is not cognizant of the impact of their model of success in the global village. Mawla, today all over the world, particularly in India and China, those who are attaining some success are also adopting such a lifestyle, seeking an escape from the deprivations wrought by centuries of colonialism. We present an illusion of comfort, luxury, reward, an illusion we present without noting the cost. The cost to loss of community life and culture, the cost to health, the cost to family, and the impact of all other beings on the planet who suffer from the impacts.

I see that my personal efforts to reduce my impact by reducing my consumption have no effect other than to satisfy a little my conscience. I see that I can only have effect if I use my communication abilities to convince others to see the truth of things. Yet I see that I cannot convince my brothers and sisters very easily. It is very rewarding to me to live simply, but I live against the grain. It is obvious to me, that one by one, I can’t convince others to reduce their carbon footprint to an amount adequate for climate security. I can’t even convince them that a lifestyle such as mine, with less work and more time, with a bicycle instead of a car, is more rewarding. If you found an island where people live in nature without money, they are not poor, but once you bring them in relation with global society, they are. So relative poverty is an illusion, and yet the race for affluence creates absolute poverty and injustice and it is clear. So what is the point of going that way? There is not much I can do to show the way one by one. Since I cannot, I seek to reach people who have more reach and develop a relationship. In my workplace, I tried to change our food purchasing to reflect an ecologically sustainable and healthy diet. It appears my bosses can respond to this advocacy to a point, and yet small success here does nothing again. I still will not reach my goal of leaving an inheritance of a healthy climate and stable world for my daughter.

I have participated with others in direct action. I have been arrested defended old growth forest locally against the construction of the highway. Direct action is somewhat more satisfying since it does not require convincing people; it asserts itself directly from truth and confronts the reality of the situation. Even where it fails, it disrupts in a small way the system which is creating climate disaster and the other ills mentioned. Yet, we all know that it is not enough, that we have not yet altered the trajectory. That trajectory we feel is very real. It is as if the world is a river, and now we are creating ahead of ourselves a waterfall, and we are already in the rapids.. Yet no one knows how difficult these rapids and waterfall will be.

Mawla, it is my perception that people are under the wrong understanding of the nature of truth and reality in our context which is deteriorating rapidly. It is my perception that people believe that they are insulated by virtue of belonging to a group, by prayers and so forth. They believe that prayer works by magic and everything and their children will be safeguarded by it. This is not my understanding. It is my understanding that prayer and meditation illuminate both one’s deepest needs, and the state of how things are, that they purify intentions, thus guiding the way forward, thus illuminating a true path.

I have found this true both of my accomplishments and mistakes. My errors come from ignorance of self and in distortions of my relations. Errors are from accomplishing something and realizing that it is not important or good for me and I have wasted time and paid other costs. Errors are from thinking that taking steps A and B will achieve their results when in fact they will not and lead to other problems. Errors are in not perceiving my true predicament, and not recognizing my responsibility to all creatures and seven generations ahead of my progeny.

Our errors are to believe that it is possible to live a virtuous life without relation to the interdependence that gives life. Our error is to believe that we are being served by the success of major corporations who mine, who dig up oil, who transport, who raze rainforests, who displace people and pollute the environment, because they sell us so much. Our errors are to believe that we can use science to power all our technologies, and ignore science when it tells us of the impact of our power. Our errors are to believe that we are following wise traditions on neither a right path, when in fact we are demonstrating so clearly our lack of wisdom, that we do not have answers, nor a path for our children and future generations, nor a justification to all we have harmed. Our error is to believe we have not played a role in a holocaust, when that holocaust is before us.

Mawla, in my life I have tried to defend and justify and escape my errors, and I have sought forgiveness. Mawla, God is all-forgiving, all-merciful. But I have found that though I have been forgiven, only if I comprehend things and correct what it is that I’m doing will I grow, will I improve conditions, will I cease the suffering that comes from errors. In Indian classical sitar that I play, if my errors are from poor technique, if my errors are from lack of practise, if my errors are from over-confidence and exceeding my abilities, if my errors are from lack of knowledge, all is forgiven. Even if my teachers feel I am in error because I am diverting from the teachings, I am forgiven. If I am diverting out of ignorance I am forgiven. If I am diverting knowing that what I want to play is different, I am forgiven. Allah is all-forgiving.

However Mawla, if I know that I am in error in the way that I am playing due to any of these factors, forgiveness only helps me to overcome my sadness and continue so that I can correct the error. If I continue the error, I get the same result. Mawla, it makes sense therefore, that if I want to correct an error from technique, I would attend to technique, if I need more practise, I find time to practise more. And so on. Thus, for a people, for a civilization, all may forgiven by God. Yet, if a people wish to confer a legacy they can justify to their children and they are in error at the moment, the correct course is to correct the error. The question will be, how will we live with what our children inherit from us? All forgiveness is only possible if one can forgive oneself. Thus, living in error makes it more difficult, makes for more suffering. This I have learned from a lifetime of working with people trying to overcome some very difficult personal behaviours, in addictions and mental illness. Yet the harm they cause others is minimal, and it is merciful to note that individual errors are understandable, have very little impact on those relations of theirs who take self-responsibility, and are therefore easy to forgive. The largest evils of humans are done in mundane complicity with the powers that be and allow this world to die, and I am part of that. Not forgiving does me no good. Thus, I forgive all beings. If I can, surely God who is most forgiving will. It does not solve this dilemma for our children, that we are forgiven. It is not a question of what happened already, or what one individual is doing wrong now, it is a question of truth and action on a planetary scale.

Mawla we associate wealth with success but it is amazing to me that a poor person with a difficult life is much more likely to be neutral in the harm they cause my grandchildren than a successful person, by virtue of the fact they cannot afford to drive or fly. It is amazing to me how bad our assumptions and treatment of the poor are. Yet even for someone who has been treated all their life very badly from abuse as children to the treatment they receive from society, even given the fact I can understand very deeply how they respond to pain, I only can counsel people with regards to the least harmful ways they can respond to their situation, and where they are in error in their self-care or affecting others in their environment, I can gently correct that. I can see that people can thus change their behavior and gain skills at living. And people with so little do this, while the rich are too comfortable to care. Mawla, as a jamaat who is very successful in the globalizing civilization, we need to change our behavior and gain some skills at living in relation to the Earth. This is best inheritance we can give our children.

Mawla, I have the following recommendations based on sending a strong signal of change.
1. Make the Imamate and all Jamaati institutions carbon-neutral.
2. Create aggressive standards for the AKF and AKDN that set an example and have an impact on climate security.
3. Give clear guidance to the Jamaat on the ethics of consumerism and a signal for change.
4. Commission the Institute for Ismaili Studies to find an ecological interpretation of Judeo-Christian-Islamic mythology and scripture to understand it in the context of the environmental crisis. Find the links with unity consciousness of indigenous traditions and paths such as Buddhism and Taoism. Where did we go wrong? What can we learn from more ecological spiritualties? How can our tradition be integrated into ecology? What values that underpin globalization need to be challenged from an ethical standpoint?
5. Give as an inheritance to the future, the Imamate back to the Earth.. Declare as 50th Imam, the Earth itself as Mother-Father. End the patriarchal rule of religion. Retain and dedicate the institutions of the Imamate to the preservation of the species and our web of life, to world peace, and the end of poverty. Open the Jamaat to all human beings in relation to all living beings. Invite indigenous, climate-affected and poor people to serve in top positions of our institutions, and give new ceremonies that reflect the inclusiveness and all-encompassing nature of God in our tradition.

This last recommendation may seem extreme but not in the light of both the evidence for possible extinction of our species – the most radical consequence of our inaction, and in light of all of the gnostic time-based prophecies including our own cycles of 7 upon 7 Imams that all point to transition now. There is a choice between death and liberation toward Earthly paradise before us. The prophecies set us upon a fork in the river that sees the end of one era that must give birth to another with the time pressing.

My request is to consider these words. My own commitment is to build from my communities, an Earth Unity movement that embraces all living beings. Each of us has air to breathe, water to drink, food to eat, and a soul that runs like a river through this body. Each of us lives in the same predicament, and it is to live in awareness that I ask all my brothers and sisters. In order to love and protect my own family I must love and protect all.

I am one who writes this from a great place of happiness, in surrender, in Sakina, in Love with All Creation. No fear or aversion, only Love for you and our Jamaat, blessings.

Arif Jinha

Arjuna on the Battlefield – the Call for Earth Unity

I recognize within me now an aggression that has been latent, an anger that has sometimes in the past come through white and hot. Since I know the source of this anger now to be my nature itself, as inseparable from the whole. That anger is at the history of domination, supremacy, control, coercion that is the hallmark of empire. And so it can be channelled in a healthy way towards revolution, Earth Unity, and the fulfillment of the prophecies of the end of Time. These do not actually point to extinction or armageddon or a magical way out, and I am as angry at the defeatists who want to mourn our species prematurely and fantasize about post-apocalyptic doom as I am at the complacent and the false religion that says believers in an absent God or those with some other special ticket will get out, and everyone else is fucked.God is truth, not lies and fantasies. So Earth Unity is not about hugging it out, it’s about sorting it out and getting real. I want a well-earned hug from someone who is on a real compassionate path with me, one that cares for my children and yours. My anger is that of a protective father.

I stand now like Arjuna in the Gita, and my Higher Power pushes me onto the battlefield like a Krishna. Arjuna knows that he must fight with his cousins and friends, he fears losing them but he knows he must enter. I am here to fight with you because you are a Westerner, because you live in tacit approval of an evil empire of dirt that is this junk civilization. You have been taught all the wrong things, and you do not know how to live on this planet in a way that respects your children and grandchildren. I have fought and continue to fight my shadow on this. That we fight together is Earth Unity, that we look beyond ourselves and our gratification needs, and align ourselves with the struggle of the remaining species who we haven’t yet killed off. Knowing that all creatures are interdependent here and knowing that we are the enemy, and acting like we are actually responsible for the consequences of our actions. This is the call.

I seek in you to align with a Unity for this Earth, and that is my chariot between the armies of greed and complacent individualism that characterize the Western mind. But the Unity is not a deal between us that we can agree to or negotiate. The Unity has everything to do with reconciling our civilzation with the facts of life on the planet which are non-negotiable. There is no agreement that is valid that gives you have the right and entitlement owing to your economic status to use up 8-10 times the carbon that this Earth can sustain, though your man-made laws celebrate this behavior and even ask the world to aspire to such madness. This is what the average Canadian does and waits for someone else to take up the slack or offer him technologies or governments to sort it out. Meanwhile, there is relentless fall towards climate disaster, relentless pain of the majority of the world’s people we are still living off the backs off. And I see in our culture it is still all about me, me, me. There are bottom lines, and our society of affluence is setting a disastrous targets for the growing middle classes of the developing world. Earth Unity is a beautiful vision that sets us toward reconciling our real relationship with all creatures and our natural world, but it is not what you are attaining by feeling nice about it, and you cannot enter it with this cultural baggage. It comes from decolonization, and shredding the consumer lifestyle, and working the collective revolution against the trend and trajectory. Why is this important? Because if you care at all about what your children will face, and their children, you will think twice about the data on climate change and the direct relationship of behavior. You will look at seriously, and if you do you will be shocked, you should cry and be outraged at us.

These are things I have to say repeatedly now until we are all saying it. This Unity comes from your detachment from the narcissism of our society, and alignment with responsibility. And this is the call I am making. It’s time for tearing down these walls of empire of self, and restoring our true nature. Mashallah.

Divergence and Convergence – Toward a Sufi Neo-Shamanism

On CBC’s Tapestry yesterday an interview with Rabbi Sacks, who showed me both why I love God from the centre of the Judeo-Christian-Islamic (JCI)tradition, and what has gone wrong with it, what Sacks himself doesn’t see despite his depth. Loving God as all-encompassing Love is the centre, as deep, wide, high, and unified, inner-outer-first-last as this existence can be. That is the Sufism of the JCI. And it is inherent to the religious tolerance of the Sufis and enlightened Islamic civilizations of 9th-13th ce, emphasized by Rabbi Sacks. Where I digress, is the discussion around the ‘transcendence of nature’, seen by Sachs as critical to the good and order in society, but to me is an evil (a powerful false or half- truth)inserted into the JCI tradition 8000 years ago with agriculture and is responsible for human, white and other forms of supremacy culture, the wrongs of patriarchy on women, men and children, the oppression of indigenous people by ‘civilizing’  empires, sexual oppression, and the colossal ignrance of our part within nature that leads us to be the cause of climate change and potential species and global extinction. That would be the 6th global extinction on the planet, and the first served in awareness. However, my shaman visions on this tell me that an extinction cannot occur in awareness, that true awareness is powerful enough to avert and survive exctinction and that it’s fulfillment is the cause of it’s being, that it cannot cause it’s own demise. Awareness, or Soul, tells me already that it is the survivor of all extinctions. It tells me it is the supernatural within nature that transcends all ignorance of it’s unavoidable truth in being. And it’s here in the current global spiritual awakening that is going beyond the Self, and diving into the Truth, taking us beyond the project of perfecting me, to find the perfection in our nature. This is happening in the context of cultural entropy and the expiration of time-based prophecies that mark the demise of the dull order of civilization, and a return to our magical existence in the wildness of our true nature, and the full-dimensional possibilities of the Divine. The destruction of the dominating, supreme patriarch idol of God from within has been my experience, and maybe that of the rising tide of shamanism still hidden within our culture. A wider purpose to our personal growth to embody the full and true self is the fall of the obedience to the mass consumerism, materialiasm, psychiatry and thearpy culture,and idea that something is inherently wrong with us (original sin). A wider purpose to the burnout of the modern bureaucratic worker is his liberation from the colony, his reunification with soul not as transcending of nature but as Rumi expressed so well well – Your Wild True Nature. Global weirding requires the full dynamic of our ability to embrace uncertainty, and reject the false safety of holding back. To find equilibrium in chaos, to find steady ground in emptiness, to find God in Truth and all-encompassing LOVE, and to save ourselves now and as many other species we can, from our own self-destruction. The revolution will not be televised, it’s happening in your heart, your bones, in the weather itself. on the user-based internet and other ways of  of sharing. LOVE.

Complete Freedom

Complete Freedom

Everything I say…everything I am… Disappears, flows down the River…. let it Flow. I would love to now listen to the waterfall. To listen to the breaking ice, and the waterfall, in the spring. Without a car to worry about, without plants or animals that I keep and call my own. Yet here in the spring, teeming life comes to birthing without my action, without my interference, and for everyone’s enjoyment. I do a little work and pay a few bills to maintain a lifespan, Nothing is mine. What is, slips through fingers that are not mine. And after my walk with your beauty in me, lay me down, by the River. Do not pray over my body, listen to the water run. And sing your life from your soul. In complete freedom.

Reaching God

Imagine by the time you reach God, she’s just been one step ahead of you going through all the same shit to make easier for you, and one step behind you taking all the shit you cause. So when you meet Her, you realize that everyone you judged as causing you shit is God, and everyone you caused shit to is God. And she’s the one that saved your ass all those times. And the one you didn’t treat well. So you’re on your knees and will accept any punishment, but She turns and says. Hey Friend, I’m really sorry about all that shit I caused you from the beginning. And you kiss and make up.

Pure Soul

I am this free pure spirit

Following my purpose

Attracted by the light of human love

I entered this life by that conception

And whatever I have needed was granted me

When I was cold, I found warmth

In confusion, answers came

I gained illusions and was stripped of them

In disillusionment I found myself again

As soon as the way became too difficult

My burden was eased

When subjected to the unqualified measures

Of culture and society


Solitude has freed me

And Love showed mercy

In those who accepted radically

Let me walk away from the stories

Accumulated by the age of forty

And come here again in purity

Abiding love and one integrity

I would come to you always like this

But the hardest painful thing

Owes its sting to that loving origin

Broken open heart, spirit death

No more am I than you who sees

Your eyes awake in me

And so I come to you like this

Pure soul


Anutarra Samyak Sambodhi SatNam


Only the highest perfection of wisdom fulfills the soul’s journey to union in God as truth, and we are capable of this. And it is necessary. Your own enlightenment is necessitated by confronting the reality of this time. From which much will fall, karmas will arise, that which has been feared will arise, conflict will arise, cracks in the foundation seen, and the old house will be torn down. But finally the true Earth will be seen again. In unity. And it is no longer about self-realization, it is about realization of all our relations. Because that Garden of light, air, water, space, pure love, dignity and freedom needs to be wide, and we humans otherwise take up a lot of that room with our small me talk. So talk about it, talk about climate change, about injustice, war, and deep suffering, about trauma, about your own inner crisis, about mental illness mythology, about love, about shamans, masters and enlightened evolution, post-modern science and physics, nonduality, dmt reality, conscientious elevation, about magic, about movements, about a medicine circle, and about transcendence. Break it open. Know that the Garden is here, time and space and direction is relative, and we may re-enter it in our own time, but if no one else is there, one must return into this darkness and all and any realms, and live in this underworld of criminal dishonesty that is the colonial global empire. We are then to become fearless in it, and speak truth in love so that we can we be liberated and be able to see beyond the veils. But when we are not ourselves, and do not have courage to be true, we create harm even though we are ignorant of it. I am no longer who I appeared to be, I am myself and facing the karmas of our characterization and mythology of the self as separate, and I am neither dead nor alive. I am like a seed that becomes a tree, like a river that becomes a cloud, like a drop that becomes thin air. You only see yourself, then you die, if you see all our relations, you live forever and come back in the Garden. Mashallah. And this is what I have seen and been guided to.


Climate change in a nutshell

The ignorant feed the weather which confronts the powerful to make a choice. We are the powerful.



Ears master sound

Eyes master sight

Body masters light energy and form

Mind masters emptiness

And I master my Self



We didn’t fall in love,

we fell into it

from above

and this planet

Eden’s gate

to the wild


inner outer



Inner Power

The way to build and maintain inner personal power is through the healthy and regular exercise of that power. It is not a matter of expression or impression per se. This is an exercise of intimacy with one’s own power from the inside out, and identifying with power from within, and even watching your outer self get tossed around on waves while it explores the ocean.This is a power inner, not a power over others. The worry over ‘giving one’s power away’ does not make sense to one with inner power. Empower others by strengthening resolve toward common liberation. When you give power, you still have it. It is like this. “He who receives ideas from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me” (T. Jefferson). To regularly exercise my inner power is to be the one with the light and make it available for the empowerment of others. To not do so, is to not give my light. And there are times to incubate this, and times to reveal it.

 Beautiful Tragedy of Longing

This great tragedy that I live
that brings such deep sadness, a great longing, heartbreak
Is to know the taste of pure love
And to live in this world like a thirsty wanderer
Willing to drink anything
And see us kill over it
because of who we think we are
Heaven is this kingdom within,
and it nigh here on earth
And I have seen it
I have walked in the Garden
These have always been here
And always will

Someone asked me to hear
from beyond the door
what kind words might be said
about me after I’m gone
But I am thoroughly and completely disillusioned
with any thought of my image
and disinterested in what others think of me
I only want that knowing embrace
that love that doesn’t care
Everything else about me
is insignificant, and unavoidable

If we could understand the grace of God
and we were truly honest and thorough
with ourselves
we would be completely humbled
and we would know there is nothing we can say
that makes any difference
other than giving forgiveness,
and asking for it
for ever creating
propaganda about ourselves and others
and if you haven’t seen within like that
you will leave here still angry at someone,
still you will have to return to find out how to be them

If people could see this
There would be peace on earth
no one would be hungry or poor
each nation would bless each nation
and rather than praise or blame
we would sit in that place together
in serene and holy silence
praising the one who brought every last one here
and brings us all home


The alchemy of suffering.

A human being has a general need to be seen, heard, loved. To see someone in the light of love is how to truly see a person. When I am being seen as worthy together with the difficulties I am having, the meaning of those difficulties changes. I am seeing that my basic goodness and qualities of being human have been obscured for a while, and I have been thinking that I am not worthy, and now I am getting a different picture of greater truth, a bigger picture, in which I see that I am not the problem, I face difficulties. In that light of worthiness , I do not perceive myself as ‘suffering’ anymore. I perceive myself as going deeply at life, as taking on risk and challenge in order to bring light, like a hobbit going to mordor, I am small and vulnerable, but heroic because I have accepted my mission. So my qualities being seen in the light of love, accepted for who I am, and how I am right now, and celebrated too, since generosity, gentleness, kindness, wisdom may now come from these same qualities. This is something quite different. And my perception of the physical sensations I am experiencing might change, as someone worthy of nurture, of rest, of care, I might receive that too. Like a hobbit at Rivendell. There I would perceive my sensations as healing. Such a light of love, transforms one’s experience on all levels. So we learn to see ourselves and others in such a way. We pave the way to the liberation and enlightenment of all beings. We fulfill missions. We don’t even know how, we are like a bee in the honeycomb. We don’t always see that honeycomb forming, or know how nature knows how to create it, one day we might see that, and today we just bring the honey.

Deeper,  Wiser

deeper, wiser, more beautiful, your heart opens wider each day, each moment. in this quiet way of your humble working. the snow falls, no one sees you but you know who you are, like light that walks in light.


Vibration and What People Want

There are indeed means of focusing which bring vibrational union with your desire. However, most people are ambivalent in their desires, focusing on manifesting ends rather than being who they are. Most people do not want money. They want less responsibility, more freedom and to feel good. They want to enjoy the highest pleasure of being themselves all the time. They want to associate with people of merit, and have good quality of life. They falsely associate this with money. Unless one is below the line of sustenance, efforts toward getting more money typically bring more responsibility and less freedom, and creates greater sense of conditionality to feeling good, and it does not improve the quality of one’s friends or enjoyment of life. In one’s current condition, one does not know what that life they want from money is actually like. Not only that, we are conditioned to believe that it is a sign of strength and merit to accept more responsibilities, that we are good if we sacrifice our freedom for others, or for accolade, for demonstration of our merit. We believe that our current condition is a sign there is something wrong or not working with us, and that there is something lacking. We want to get rid of these bad feelings, but we think we want money. This is why people do not generally succeed in attracting money, because they divert their attention toward money and away from their heart’s desire. It is better to focus on one’s heart desire, and work lovingly with her. The work that is here, the people that are with you now are real. The fantasy is not. One cannot attract other than one’s heart’s desire. The large differences in income we see in the world today are functions of an imbalanced economy, and an imbalanced view on life. Many musicians start out wanting to be on a stadium stage and have their music sold to millions. But along the way, most of us form better priorities and prefer to spend our lives on more rewarding things. But it is difficult for us to imagine fully that we no longer want that fantasy, that we do no t like many of the activities associated and to admit to social reality that we do not want it, because it does not make sense to people. We know privately that we make best decisions, but publicly we may shrink back thinking or saying in various ways that we fell short of an expectation. Wanting money, and getting money do not take away these bad feelings. Awareness of their untruth does. These beliefs are the gateway to being manipulated by advertising. Therefore people come to the teachings having formed an idea that they want to manifest certain things they do not actually care about, because it is not believable to them to ask for what they really want. In addition, in an economy of striving for profit, we are engaged in a zero-sum game, which guarantees that some people will be below the means of sustenance. Those people will suffer the most, not the least of which is the stigma they will endure even though the economy we live in requires this of them. Instead, if we engage in a reciprocity sum game, we will understand that the basis of healthy monetary policy, and a healthy society is guaranteeing a living income directly.