Cutting Through Violence

In my previous post on FB, I vowed to exercise greater freedom here in cutting through ‘false consciousness’ for the sake of liberation. I’m moving to the blog, because of the length. Please continue reading on this journey, if you so dare lol!

I borrow ‘false consciousness’ from Marxist discourse, but I am using it in a more general sense. Marxism, like many of it’s ideological cousins, suffers from a great many flaws as a liberating force, the foremost perhaps being that Marxism and other doctrines vow to represent the voice of exploited peoples and thereby crowd out the diversity, and ultimately ‘voice’ is co-opted by power, relies on coercion and only serves the institutions it creates. Thus I speak for myself.

When I speak for myself, it is more powerful. Others may choose on the basis of the content itself, rather than authority behind a gun or any economic or social reward-punishment mechanisms that allow us to distort our own perceptions. Thus one of the principles of non-violent communication, is the ‘I statement’.

Such a tactic also translates into a more impeccable words with regard to inner experience and self-inquiry rather than projection and abstraction. And inner experience is the root of non-violence as a philosophy and ethic.

My observation is that, whenever violence is occurring toward a being, it is in that being’s experience, non-consensual, and a violation causing harm. Thus they have reported this violence as self-evidently harming and unwanted. We can know and sympathise with their suffering, and it’s wrong-ness, based on our own experiences. Truly all sexual violence, is not sexual at all, it is pure violence at its worst, because it violates one’s most intimate essence, it defiles the basic integrity of a being from that being’s view. Sex, by my understanding is at minimum legally consensual, and the more aware and in full capacity and informed that consent is, the more it is actually ‘intercourse’, rather than some grasping in the dark for gratification.

Therefore, an understanding follows, from any being’s point of view, of why a being naturally oppose violence and is naturally inclined to mutually fulfilling and honest interactions, the more aware and fully able to participate the better, which is refined by better information and attention to it. Though beings often have to filrt with veils and secrets, even enjoy giving over power to lead, they don’t want to be subjected to manipulation, exploitation or negligence, nor absolute power. And there is plenty of grey, where all dance with their shadows while they learn how to behave with others. Deception and power are learned by initially innocent beings who want naturally to protect themselves or follow intrinsic rewards. Our dance with the drama of conflict, can be entertaining and fulfilling, when beings engage with awareness and refine their artistry in it.

Thus, an MMA fight, is not truly violence, though it is a bit like violence porn because of it’s representational energy, but because both actors are fully aware and consenting, it is actually more like sex than violence. Violence is where one being violates another against their will, as is the case in civilian casualty to military aggression, or sexual assault.

The next step is to understand the usefulness of non-violence as way of being toward others. I vowed ahimsa at age 11. One of the results of this for me, is that I never was in a fight, never aggressed sexually or otherwise, and I was never injured by violence. I regard ahimsa, for myself, as better than martial arts with regard to self-defense, because it trains the awareness. And I was forced to learn to stand up for myself and others, on several occasions stepping in to stop streetfights, where no one else would or could act. And without getting injured. Ahimas is creates gentleness, rapport, compassionte skillful means, good energy, goodwill.

The single most important error I made in ahimsa, is based on learning false virtue, based on widespread cultural repetition of false and unverifiable teachings about the self.

The key false teaching, is every version of ‘original sin’ that is consciously or unconsciously conveyed to anyone growing up, a teaching that was likely specifically designed to disempower the general population so they could be controlled by states, in alliance with clergy.

So, virtuously, I thought non-violence meant searching for this source of harming within myself, rather than others. For a long time, I believed in the virtue of this search, thinking it was making me a better person. But really it was distorting my character, and remains the key source of my post-trauma reverb. It was from this basic inner confusion, inherited after 8000 years of war that brought Europeans to this continent, that my neurosis were amplified into psychoses.

My fruitless search for what was wrong with me, just resulted in partially fulfilled prophecies of character masks, the Jungian shadow, blind spots and self-deceptions. My fears about my self were only partially fulfilled thankfully, because when I became aware that hurt was owed to false relating, I sought to correct my inauthenticity. This is the basic process of ‘layering’ and, from which ‘awakening’ seeks to cut through and lift veils to the true self (of which I was at times terrified and awed by this point).

However, at some point, surrender is required, because it is a process of ‘serpent, eating it’s tail’. I basically ran patterns and masks my whole life, thinner in some ways, thicker in others, tactics which improve upon, but do not eradicate the basic self-dishonesty which has been absorbed and perpetuate. We all want to be good, it is natural, this is why we do that dance!

These masks are often a good match to success in the world too, even while one is dying inside, owing to the basic purpose of the poison of disempowerment. Instead of trust, we are relying on external rewards, and therefore endlessly subject to exploitation, manipulation, control, and perpetrating these. All of our assumptions in character dramas and othering fictions, all are played out in reals ways in society, ways. Our assumptions about poor, addicts, prisoners, every perp, delay the ending of patterns by which harm is created. Our fears and demand for fascist tendencies of governments, our inability to defend against corporate greed, to unify and to even fulfill our potential, to heal ourselves, to empower our familes, all cut short,. A wide variety of institutional cruelties, even the allowing of torture, is based on this essential set of mechanisms. We get better, thankfully, generation after generation, but to a certain extant, we carry on with this.

Even the pattern of transgression-guilt-repentance-forgiveness so emotionally gratifying is a drama of Judean heritage, that is one of partial liberation, and does not free one from cycles of harming. It can perpetuate. All bonds of karma can be cut. Salvation by higher power like Jesus, who alleviates all burden of sin, exists for this reason in Judean culture because Jesus saw it and went to the cross for it, but this is not well understood and highly confusing when taught by the church. That is because the clergy, wishes to retain it’s power, by handing the cage and the handling the keys.

Today, I saw all this clearly, and I saw that in my recovery, I may rely on Highest Love as my Divine, that which loves me completely, is my redeemer, my Christ, all that I cannot do myself to cut through my inner violence, that has limted my ability to be a good relation here, and is the root cause of my unwellness and low self-worth, every suicidal ideation I ever had.

I saw that I am the original being I came here as, and I am innocent, without requiring higher judgment, punishment or reward, and my chains are gone forever. And yet I must account to my relations here, and be well by them, because that is self-evident.

And I saw that I am perpetually free of all bonds of karma, in this and previous lifetimes, and I an well prepared to meet any accountability required of me here. And I was released by knowing that.

Thus, another victory for ahimsa, and my recovery from inner violence I learned from the culture. A breaking of the cycle of generation upon generation.

Even the teaching of ‘karmic bondage’ is false. Karma, is but all the energy that arrives from all prior causes to my personal and unique situation, this very moment, ongoing. If someone tries to teach me something limiting about karma, I can choose a more liberating view. That too is self-evident.

And all that arrives to me, it is there for my dharma, my purpose, it is my inheritance, and my soul’s fuel. It is always a grace, in that sense. Even the vow of ahimsa I so tried and failed to keep, I am alleviated from on account of the unintended consequences of any vow, for I was not taught to simply follow my nature, and be blameless to begin with. And how to forgive others for their violence, seeing as how it arises from the simple absorption natural to a child, of bad information.

Thus, eradicated, is all shame and guilt, and now that my awareness is purified from the basis of it’s false logic, of which I am guiltless in learning, innocent as I child I was when I did. Thus freed from psychic chains, I am able to recommit to ahimsa as my natural process, and see before me the cycles of liberation and enlightenment, and my heart opens to the world. For I am free to engage my awareness in my article of faith, that my purpose here remains absolutely clear. Ahimsa remains my guiding light.

I do not take, on authority, any teaching, particularly ancient texts, because of the dubiousness of their application to context.

Yet the Tao Te Ching, of all of them, comes closest to ringing clear over time, in all circumstances. And this verse,

In abundant love, and ahimsa.



When a country is in harmony with the Tao,
the factories make trucks and tractors.
When a country goes counter to the Tao,
warheads are stockpiled outside the cities.

There is no greater illusion than fear,
no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself,
no greater misfortune than having an enemy.

Whoever can see through all fear
will always be safe.


Sacred I AM: Drinking from a Sacred River


Sacred is a word, it is language. But it is a word that points directly to the heart and mind. That which is said to be sacred, I feel it is so if it is real, if it is honest, clear, true, like a river that is safe to drink from because we come by it honestly and can trust the source. When indigenous people say land is sacred, we can trust what they say, because to be indigenous is to have an eternal and intimate relationship with the land you are indigenous to. We are indigenous when we know we are from the land, that it is inside us, and we are in it. Once we look at land like it is ‘private property’, we think it belongs to us, that we own land, that it is an object, that is madness and not indigenous, and such an idea cannot even be made sacred by any symbol.

So, ‘sacred’ it is a way of approaching an intimate part of us, maybe a delicate part, or just an internal part, so we have to really care about what is going in and out, because this will affect our organs, our emotional life, our energy, life and we are aware that all we do affects our children, and theirs. We call upon ancestors, so we can act like ancestors, who will be called upon when freshness and beauty of life is celebrated, and for how to care for it.

If we do not care, then, in the ruins of culture and coughing for life amidst the poisons, none of what we do will be remembered, or matter, so who cares. Nothing sacred here. Another oil spill, just the cost of doing business, nothing sacred.
First and foremost, it is we, the ones who can breathe the word sacred, who are sacred. Our mind, heart, thoughts, will, breath, our sexuality, our relations, our every cell is sacred, and we are completely free whichever gender we are, and one with Divine, our Creator, and we are the authority on ourselves, on sacred, and the students of nature.. But we are told not, and often don’t treat ourselves that way.
So sacredness, it also speaks of what is actually going on , not just what is being said. For me, there are ways that I can and do actually drink straight from the rivers of this land, because there are times and places where they are clean for me, and my understanding of them is clear. This even though we by and large dump profane amounts of our waste in our rivers, and then treat them chemically and systemically before they arrive in the tap, for ‘convenience’. So there is a sacredness about me and the river at that point where I am drinking the water, that allows me to do this, I have practises and I am aware, and I can tell the truth about it. So that which is sacred, it can be different, and others would never drink from the rivers of this territory, believing them to be always polluted. But just because someone believes something, it is not necessarily true. Even my skepticism, my adventurousness, my childlike nature, all are sacred.

So, if I am not coming at this in an honest way, if I am just showing off, I can get sick from those same rivers. So, there is observation of myself and what is actually going on, that allows me to do this. That is a kind of ceremony.
Among people, I observe their ceremony, whether they call it ceremony or not, to observe their awareness, their sense of sacredness. In a ceremony of mindless consumption, I may abstain, or I may have a little taste, but I won’t get lost in it. In a ceremony of truth and empowerment, or one that names the divine within me-within all, I will drink wholeheartedly. If a ceremony suggests otherness, I ignore the suggestion of separation, of superiority. Where the ceremony calls on specific ancestors or deities I relate more distantly to, I call on one’s closer to my circle, for I know they are all related. If a priest, or an article on Elephant Journal, whatever authority, uses ‘sacredness’ to make me feel less so and in need of it, so that I must rely on the author, I rebel against that. I already know I am sacred. If a ceremony calls me forth as such, I show up for it that way. If it doesn’t, I leave empty-handed.

The name of the religion doesn’t matter, church, temple, forest. The fewer doors the better, the more direct, the purer it is. My own faith commits sacrilege by closing it’s ceremonies to members only, God does not dismember! I ignore this sin, and drink from what it offers because I am a sacred beggar, I don’t refuse anything.
Humanity comes in streams and rivers, what is sacred is often a meeting by the river. A ceremony makes every drop in the river divine, by making us take steps to look at it, and sacredness helps us see how we actually are, and what we are taking in.

Bipolar Wellness

This post may become it’s own blog, this is a time where I am trying new things. So I’m trying this out.

But it may be too simple. Bipolar wellness is a lot like ordinary wellness for anyone. It is based on self-love and self-care, healthy relating and learning to dance with all the range of emotion and energy, how to fall gracefully and to get back on one’s feet. It is about learning to be true to oneself, to let the mud of self-doubt clear and learn to listen to the heart first with all the external pressures to do or be, to source love from within so as to create an authentically happy life. It is about making healthy choices and learning from mistakes, getting humbled and getting to true self-worth and healthy ego. But just like for anyone who has a health problem, like an addiction or even a physical ailment that is related to behavior, there is a recovery process that relies on universal principles that are spiritual laws. This healing process will source the beauty, creativity, brilliance and joy of the soul that is alive and awake with appreciation and love. And it will bring one face to face with the ugly parts of the self and all the feelings we are uncomfortable with. That is bipolar wellness – up and down, good and bad, high and low!! That is any human life, who dares to ask who they are and what it is for, who wants to awaken the depths and make courageous choices. But with this illness, the clinical manias and depressions, there is a breakdown in this process. There is extreme high and low, there is delusion, and there are consequences we admit we want to avoid once we regain insight and are hit with sanity. Then it is making a commitment to sanity, despite the difficulty one must then face within in the healing process. This is where we learn to truly love again I feel. With courage, there are ways to radically accept it all, to love oneself all over again, to heal and to change. That is what this is about. It is about wanting for myself healthy, happy and stable life, one that is awake and authentic and honest with myself. I am learning that my self-worth is something I get to practise and create and that is what attracts good quality of life. This also means for me, staying on lithium as a commitment to this path.

It is also means for me, that everything serious I say will be hilarious at some point, and will become bubbling, wonderful laughter because of my practise of laughter yoga. That doesn’t really detract from any of it, it is lovely and healing to laugh at it all once in a while.

For me, I am doing this for myself and for my daughter Aya, and her Mom, and my mother. I’m doing this for my whole family and community, and all my relations.

Arjuna on the Battlefield – the Call for Earth Unity

I recognize within me now an aggression that has been latent, an anger that has sometimes in the past come through white and hot. Since I know the source of this anger now to be my nature itself, as inseparable from the whole. That anger is at the history of domination, supremacy, control, coercion that is the hallmark of empire. And so it can be channelled in a healthy way towards revolution, Earth Unity, and the fulfillment of the prophecies of the end of Time. These do not actually point to extinction or armageddon or a magical way out, and I am as angry at the defeatists who want to mourn our species prematurely and fantasize about post-apocalyptic doom as I am at the complacent and the false religion that says believers in an absent God or those with some other special ticket will get out, and everyone else is fucked.God is truth, not lies and fantasies. So Earth Unity is not about hugging it out, it’s about sorting it out and getting real. I want a well-earned hug from someone who is on a real compassionate path with me, one that cares for my children and yours. My anger is that of a protective father.

I stand now like Arjuna in the Gita, and my Higher Power pushes me onto the battlefield like a Krishna. Arjuna knows that he must fight with his cousins and friends, he fears losing them but he knows he must enter. I am here to fight with you because you are a Westerner, because you live in tacit approval of an evil empire of dirt that is this junk civilization. You have been taught all the wrong things, and you do not know how to live on this planet in a way that respects your children and grandchildren. I have fought and continue to fight my shadow on this. That we fight together is Earth Unity, that we look beyond ourselves and our gratification needs, and align ourselves with the struggle of the remaining species who we haven’t yet killed off. Knowing that all creatures are interdependent here and knowing that we are the enemy, and acting like we are actually responsible for the consequences of our actions. This is the call.

I seek in you to align with a Unity for this Earth, and that is my chariot between the armies of greed and complacent individualism that characterize the Western mind. But the Unity is not a deal between us that we can agree to or negotiate. The Unity has everything to do with reconciling our civilzation with the facts of life on the planet which are non-negotiable. There is no agreement that is valid that gives you have the right and entitlement owing to your economic status to use up 8-10 times the carbon that this Earth can sustain, though your man-made laws celebrate this behavior and even ask the world to aspire to such madness. This is what the average Canadian does and waits for someone else to take up the slack or offer him technologies or governments to sort it out. Meanwhile, there is relentless fall towards climate disaster, relentless pain of the majority of the world’s people we are still living off the backs off. And I see in our culture it is still all about me, me, me. There are bottom lines, and our society of affluence is setting a disastrous targets for the growing middle classes of the developing world. Earth Unity is a beautiful vision that sets us toward reconciling our real relationship with all creatures and our natural world, but it is not what you are attaining by feeling nice about it, and you cannot enter it with this cultural baggage. It comes from decolonization, and shredding the consumer lifestyle, and working the collective revolution against the trend and trajectory. Why is this important? Because if you care at all about what your children will face, and their children, you will think twice about the data on climate change and the direct relationship of behavior. You will look at seriously, and if you do you will be shocked, you should cry and be outraged at us.

These are things I have to say repeatedly now until we are all saying it. This Unity comes from your detachment from the narcissism of our society, and alignment with responsibility. And this is the call I am making. It’s time for tearing down these walls of empire of self, and restoring our true nature. Mashallah.

Divergence and Convergence – Toward a Sufi Neo-Shamanism

On CBC’s Tapestry yesterday an interview with Rabbi Sacks, who showed me both why I love God from the centre of the Judeo-Christian-Islamic (JCI)tradition, and what has gone wrong with it, what Sacks himself doesn’t see despite his depth. Loving God as all-encompassing Love is the centre, as deep, wide, high, and unified, inner-outer-first-last as this existence can be. That is the Sufism of the JCI. And it is inherent to the religious tolerance of the Sufis and enlightened Islamic civilizations of 9th-13th ce, emphasized by Rabbi Sacks. Where I digress, is the discussion around the ‘transcendence of nature’, seen by Sachs as critical to the good and order in society, but to me is an evil (a powerful false or half- truth)inserted into the JCI tradition 8000 years ago with agriculture and is responsible for human, white and other forms of supremacy culture, the wrongs of patriarchy on women, men and children, the oppression of indigenous people by ‘civilizing’  empires, sexual oppression, and the colossal ignrance of our part within nature that leads us to be the cause of climate change and potential species and global extinction. That would be the 6th global extinction on the planet, and the first served in awareness. However, my shaman visions on this tell me that an extinction cannot occur in awareness, that true awareness is powerful enough to avert and survive exctinction and that it’s fulfillment is the cause of it’s being, that it cannot cause it’s own demise. Awareness, or Soul, tells me already that it is the survivor of all extinctions. It tells me it is the supernatural within nature that transcends all ignorance of it’s unavoidable truth in being. And it’s here in the current global spiritual awakening that is going beyond the Self, and diving into the Truth, taking us beyond the project of perfecting me, to find the perfection in our nature. This is happening in the context of cultural entropy and the expiration of time-based prophecies that mark the demise of the dull order of civilization, and a return to our magical existence in the wildness of our true nature, and the full-dimensional possibilities of the Divine. The destruction of the dominating, supreme patriarch idol of God from within has been my experience, and maybe that of the rising tide of shamanism still hidden within our culture. A wider purpose to our personal growth to embody the full and true self is the fall of the obedience to the mass consumerism, materialiasm, psychiatry and thearpy culture,and idea that something is inherently wrong with us (original sin). A wider purpose to the burnout of the modern bureaucratic worker is his liberation from the colony, his reunification with soul not as transcending of nature but as Rumi expressed so well well – Your Wild True Nature. Global weirding requires the full dynamic of our ability to embrace uncertainty, and reject the false safety of holding back. To find equilibrium in chaos, to find steady ground in emptiness, to find God in Truth and all-encompassing LOVE, and to save ourselves now and as many other species we can, from our own self-destruction. The revolution will not be televised, it’s happening in your heart, your bones, in the weather itself. on the user-based internet and other ways of  of sharing. LOVE.

Complete Freedom

Complete Freedom

Everything I say…everything I am… Disappears, flows down the River…. let it Flow. I would love to now listen to the waterfall. To listen to the breaking ice, and the waterfall, in the spring. Without a car to worry about, without plants or animals that I keep and call my own. Yet here in the spring, teeming life comes to birthing without my action, without my interference, and for everyone’s enjoyment. I do a little work and pay a few bills to maintain a lifespan, Nothing is mine. What is, slips through fingers that are not mine. And after my walk with your beauty in me, lay me down, by the River. Do not pray over my body, listen to the water run. And sing your life from your soul. In complete freedom.

Reaching God

Imagine by the time you reach God, she’s just been one step ahead of you going through all the same shit to make easier for you, and one step behind you taking all the shit you cause. So when you meet Her, you realize that everyone you judged as causing you shit is God, and everyone you caused shit to is God. And she’s the one that saved your ass all those times. And the one you didn’t treat well. So you’re on your knees and will accept any punishment, but She turns and says. Hey Friend, I’m really sorry about all that shit I caused you from the beginning. And you kiss and make up.

Pure Soul

I am this free pure spirit

Following my purpose

Attracted by the light of human love

I entered this life by that conception

And whatever I have needed was granted me

When I was cold, I found warmth

In confusion, answers came

I gained illusions and was stripped of them

In disillusionment I found myself again

As soon as the way became too difficult

My burden was eased

When subjected to the unqualified measures

Of culture and society


Solitude has freed me

And Love showed mercy

In those who accepted radically

Let me walk away from the stories

Accumulated by the age of forty

And come here again in purity

Abiding love and one integrity

I would come to you always like this

But the hardest painful thing

Owes its sting to that loving origin

Broken open heart, spirit death

No more am I than you who sees

Your eyes awake in me

And so I come to you like this

Pure soul


Anutarra Samyak Sambodhi SatNam


Only the highest perfection of wisdom fulfills the soul’s journey to union in God as truth, and we are capable of this. And it is necessary. Your own enlightenment is necessitated by confronting the reality of this time. From which much will fall, karmas will arise, that which has been feared will arise, conflict will arise, cracks in the foundation seen, and the old house will be torn down. But finally the true Earth will be seen again. In unity. And it is no longer about self-realization, it is about realization of all our relations. Because that Garden of light, air, water, space, pure love, dignity and freedom needs to be wide, and we humans otherwise take up a lot of that room with our small me talk. So talk about it, talk about climate change, about injustice, war, and deep suffering, about trauma, about your own inner crisis, about mental illness mythology, about love, about shamans, masters and enlightened evolution, post-modern science and physics, nonduality, dmt reality, conscientious elevation, about magic, about movements, about a medicine circle, and about transcendence. Break it open. Know that the Garden is here, time and space and direction is relative, and we may re-enter it in our own time, but if no one else is there, one must return into this darkness and all and any realms, and live in this underworld of criminal dishonesty that is the colonial global empire. We are then to become fearless in it, and speak truth in love so that we can we be liberated and be able to see beyond the veils. But when we are not ourselves, and do not have courage to be true, we create harm even though we are ignorant of it. I am no longer who I appeared to be, I am myself and facing the karmas of our characterization and mythology of the self as separate, and I am neither dead nor alive. I am like a seed that becomes a tree, like a river that becomes a cloud, like a drop that becomes thin air. You only see yourself, then you die, if you see all our relations, you live forever and come back in the Garden. Mashallah. And this is what I have seen and been guided to.


Climate change in a nutshell

The ignorant feed the weather which confronts the powerful to make a choice. We are the powerful.



Ears master sound

Eyes master sight

Body masters light energy and form

Mind masters emptiness

And I master my Self



We didn’t fall in love,

we fell into it

from above

and this planet

Eden’s gate

to the wild


inner outer



Inner Power

The way to build and maintain inner personal power is through the healthy and regular exercise of that power. It is not a matter of expression or impression per se. This is an exercise of intimacy with one’s own power from the inside out, and identifying with power from within, and even watching your outer self get tossed around on waves while it explores the ocean.This is a power inner, not a power over others. The worry over ‘giving one’s power away’ does not make sense to one with inner power. Empower others by strengthening resolve toward common liberation. When you give power, you still have it. It is like this. “He who receives ideas from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me” (T. Jefferson). To regularly exercise my inner power is to be the one with the light and make it available for the empowerment of others. To not do so, is to not give my light. And there are times to incubate this, and times to reveal it.

 Beautiful Tragedy of Longing

This great tragedy that I live
that brings such deep sadness, a great longing, heartbreak
Is to know the taste of pure love
And to live in this world like a thirsty wanderer
Willing to drink anything
And see us kill over it
because of who we think we are
Heaven is this kingdom within,
and it nigh here on earth
And I have seen it
I have walked in the Garden
These have always been here
And always will

Someone asked me to hear
from beyond the door
what kind words might be said
about me after I’m gone
But I am thoroughly and completely disillusioned
with any thought of my image
and disinterested in what others think of me
I only want that knowing embrace
that love that doesn’t care
Everything else about me
is insignificant, and unavoidable

If we could understand the grace of God
and we were truly honest and thorough
with ourselves
we would be completely humbled
and we would know there is nothing we can say
that makes any difference
other than giving forgiveness,
and asking for it
for ever creating
propaganda about ourselves and others
and if you haven’t seen within like that
you will leave here still angry at someone,
still you will have to return to find out how to be them

If people could see this
There would be peace on earth
no one would be hungry or poor
each nation would bless each nation
and rather than praise or blame
we would sit in that place together
in serene and holy silence
praising the one who brought every last one here
and brings us all home


The alchemy of suffering.

A human being has a general need to be seen, heard, loved. To see someone in the light of love is how to truly see a person. When I am being seen as worthy together with the difficulties I am having, the meaning of those difficulties changes. I am seeing that my basic goodness and qualities of being human have been obscured for a while, and I have been thinking that I am not worthy, and now I am getting a different picture of greater truth, a bigger picture, in which I see that I am not the problem, I face difficulties. In that light of worthiness , I do not perceive myself as ‘suffering’ anymore. I perceive myself as going deeply at life, as taking on risk and challenge in order to bring light, like a hobbit going to mordor, I am small and vulnerable, but heroic because I have accepted my mission. So my qualities being seen in the light of love, accepted for who I am, and how I am right now, and celebrated too, since generosity, gentleness, kindness, wisdom may now come from these same qualities. This is something quite different. And my perception of the physical sensations I am experiencing might change, as someone worthy of nurture, of rest, of care, I might receive that too. Like a hobbit at Rivendell. There I would perceive my sensations as healing. Such a light of love, transforms one’s experience on all levels. So we learn to see ourselves and others in such a way. We pave the way to the liberation and enlightenment of all beings. We fulfill missions. We don’t even know how, we are like a bee in the honeycomb. We don’t always see that honeycomb forming, or know how nature knows how to create it, one day we might see that, and today we just bring the honey.

Deeper,  Wiser

deeper, wiser, more beautiful, your heart opens wider each day, each moment. in this quiet way of your humble working. the snow falls, no one sees you but you know who you are, like light that walks in light.


Vibration and What People Want

There are indeed means of focusing which bring vibrational union with your desire. However, most people are ambivalent in their desires, focusing on manifesting ends rather than being who they are. Most people do not want money. They want less responsibility, more freedom and to feel good. They want to enjoy the highest pleasure of being themselves all the time. They want to associate with people of merit, and have good quality of life. They falsely associate this with money. Unless one is below the line of sustenance, efforts toward getting more money typically bring more responsibility and less freedom, and creates greater sense of conditionality to feeling good, and it does not improve the quality of one’s friends or enjoyment of life. In one’s current condition, one does not know what that life they want from money is actually like. Not only that, we are conditioned to believe that it is a sign of strength and merit to accept more responsibilities, that we are good if we sacrifice our freedom for others, or for accolade, for demonstration of our merit. We believe that our current condition is a sign there is something wrong or not working with us, and that there is something lacking. We want to get rid of these bad feelings, but we think we want money. This is why people do not generally succeed in attracting money, because they divert their attention toward money and away from their heart’s desire. It is better to focus on one’s heart desire, and work lovingly with her. The work that is here, the people that are with you now are real. The fantasy is not. One cannot attract other than one’s heart’s desire. The large differences in income we see in the world today are functions of an imbalanced economy, and an imbalanced view on life. Many musicians start out wanting to be on a stadium stage and have their music sold to millions. But along the way, most of us form better priorities and prefer to spend our lives on more rewarding things. But it is difficult for us to imagine fully that we no longer want that fantasy, that we do no t like many of the activities associated and to admit to social reality that we do not want it, because it does not make sense to people. We know privately that we make best decisions, but publicly we may shrink back thinking or saying in various ways that we fell short of an expectation. Wanting money, and getting money do not take away these bad feelings. Awareness of their untruth does. These beliefs are the gateway to being manipulated by advertising. Therefore people come to the teachings having formed an idea that they want to manifest certain things they do not actually care about, because it is not believable to them to ask for what they really want. In addition, in an economy of striving for profit, we are engaged in a zero-sum game, which guarantees that some people will be below the means of sustenance. Those people will suffer the most, not the least of which is the stigma they will endure even though the economy we live in requires this of them. Instead, if we engage in a reciprocity sum game, we will understand that the basis of healthy monetary policy, and a healthy society is guaranteeing a living income directly.